I made it through Thanksgiving sober as bottles of wine floated under my nose. While the smell alone was intoxicating, I opted for tea and seltzer. Success!
1. The boyfriend
2. Ruby the dog
3. Friends and Family
8. Brisk air
10. Warm blankets
14. Fluffy pillows
17. Graphic novels
25. Train rides
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation. — Osho (via wethinkwedream)
The Answer is No, but I Say YES!
Thank you for all of the nice notes about my relapse; I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of others. One of my goals in recovery is honesty, which I find to be difficult on a daily basis. I’m not sure why I lie, but I’ll lie about the littlest things. My lies are the ones where the answer is no, but I say yes. I’m sure it has something to do with the paradoxical pull of my controlling schoolmarm and free wheeling hippy self. The schoolmarm often wins, so I say yes when I mean no, and I say no when I mean yes. Then, I panic.
Today was different. I’m behind on a research project, so I set up a meeting with my professor to admit to my lack of motivation this semester. She laughed at me and told me she wasn’t worried at all, but I am, so I told here I’d worry for the both of us. While I’m still nervous about the state of my research, it felt good to come clean about where I’m at as a student and person in general. Honesty feels like a big sigh of relief. It’s the anticipation of honesty that often kills me.